Girls like bad guys-they’re dangerous, confident, and very attractive. That’s what pop culture tells us, but is it true? Let’s find out where the image of the “bad guy” came from, whether all women dream about him, and why he shouldn’t be romanticized. By the bye, you too can find love on Eden christain dating sites, just look at this now
Who is the “bad guy.”
The “bad guy” is characterized by the traits of the so-called dark triad: narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism. As a rule, people with these traits tend to disregard the feelings of others and devalue the experiences of others.
Taking apart each of these traits in more detail, narcissists love to be the center of attention, they are excessively narcissistic, and they put their aspirations and interests above those of others. Psychopathy is characterized by a lack of empathy and antisocial behavior. Such people are usually fearless and ready to challenge established norms. Machiavellians adhere to the principle “the end justifies the means,” and therefore often resort to manipulation, lies, and deception. Hence the image of the “bad guy” – confident, charming, and charismatic, capable of charming anyone if he so desires.
Forrest Talley, a clinical psychologist, and Ph.D., who spent 21 years at the UC Davis Medical Center, identified four types of “bad guys:
The tough guy is dismissive of social norms. He is unpredictable and overly emotional. He gets out of his temper practically at full speed. And, oddly enough, his appeal lies in his aggression.
The misunderstood loner is silent, brooding, and mysterious. He keeps to himself, forcing others to wonder what lies behind the mask of coldness and impregnability. At the same time, he is quite sharp. Justifying the fact that no one understands him, hurts the people closest to him.
Boy – Despite his age, he is emotionally immature. Constantly gets into trouble, demands attention, and gets into conflicts with his boss, acquaintances, and friends. But therein lies his charm.
Successful narcissist – he oozes charm and success with women. In this case, he needs to emphasize his popularity with the opposite sex, status, and income. He’s also an expert on absolutely any topic.
Is it true that girls like “bad guys” more
In 2013, Professor Gregory Lewis Carter of Durham University and his colleagues found that “bad guys” do indeed attract women more. But when it comes to short-term relationships. The fact is that representatives of the “dark triad” are usually charismatic and know how to present themselves. On superficial acquaintance, this can be charming.
Professor Carter’s conclusion was also reached in 2015 by Peter Jonasson of the University of Padua. He found that both men and women view possessors of the “dark triad” traits as one-night stands. But when it comes to long-term relationships with the prospect of starting a family, their charisma no longer seems so enticing.
A 2003 study by the University of South Carolina’s psychology department found that such qualities as politeness, caring, and sensitivity were more valued by women. Female participants were offered three online dating questionnaires: “good” guy, “bad” guy, and as neutral as possible. “Good” was chosen eight times more often than “bad,” even if he was inferior in physical attractiveness. Moreover, some studies have shown that qualities such as kindness, altruism, politeness, and decency are valued higher by people regardless of gender. They make a person sexier and more attractive as a partner for a serious relationship.
In short, those same “bad guys” can evoke sympathy upon first, superficial acquaintance. They use their charisma and charm, skillfully hiding their negative traits. But when their aggression, ego, and lack of compassion come out (which is inevitable with long-term dating), it’s rather repulsive.
Why the “bad guy” can sometimes take a long time to attract
Forrest Talley says that the “bad guy” can be very charming and suave when you first meet him. That’s what wins him over. So when he starts showing his negative qualities already, it’s hard to match them with his first impression. Hence the thoughts: “this is a mistake, he’s nice. According to Talley, it can also happen that a woman begins to believe that she will fix the “bad guy. Like, she knows what he’s like and will help him change. Often “bad guys” can seem attractive to women with avoidant attachment types, low self-esteem, and high anxiety. “Bad guys,” who radiate strength and confidence, are perceived as protectors.
There is a widespread idea among evolutionary psychologists (which the scientific community questions) that it is the nature of women to choose the “bad guys. Because they are the epitome of masculinity. Sociologist Tristan Bridges, who specializes in the study of masculinity, believes that this is not the case.
The attraction of “bad guys” is broadcast through the society in which we live. The more often we hear the phrase that girls like bad guys, the more we begin to believe it. We end up perceiving the “bad guys” as more attractive. Pop culture plays a big role in all this, romanticizing the image of the “bad guy. It instills the idea that he really can change through true love. After all, behind every charming and sassy “bad guy” from the movie is a complicated story – the circumstances that made him so.
How the “bad boy” image appeared in pop culture
The bad boy archetype grew out of the cultural phenomenon of rake (short for rakehell, which can be translated as “risen from hell”). The main progenitor of the rake phenomenon is considered to be Satan himself. After all, it was he who said that “it is better to rule in hell than to serve in heaven,” thereby challenging the established world order.
Rake later developed in the literature. He was usually represented by a young male vesper of aristocratic origin who spent his time gambling, with women, and wine. All he did was spend his fortune, which he had inherited rather than earned. Notable examples of the rake character are Don Juan or the main antagonist of Charles Dickens’ novel Great Expectations, Compeyson.
On the screens “bad guys” began to appear in the 40’s – the heyday of “gangster” movies. For example, actor James Canvey – one of the major stars of emerging Hollywood, starred in the film “Public Enemy” and thus created a new type of the main character. The gangsters in his performance are charming scoundrels who break the law and collect women’s hearts. But no matter how attractive they seemed, they were still negative characters who were bound to get what they deserved at the end of the picture.
“Bad Boy” stopped being a villain in 1955 after the release of Rebel Without a Cause. James Dean, who played the lead role, is still considered the standard bearer of this trope. “Rebel Without a Cause” is the story of sixteen-year-old Jim, who finds himself in jail for drinking. Jim is a classic “bad guy,” a bully, a rebel. But inside, he is a disillusioned kid who is tired of living the life he is living.
James Dean’s character showed that the “bad guy” is only bad on the outside and there’s a lot of good lurking inside. And also Dean set a certain style in clothes and hair. His image was later repeated by Luke Perry from “Beverly Hills 90210”, Johnny Depp from “Crybaby”, John Travolta from “Grease”, and Patrick Swayze from “Dirty Dancing”.
And besides, the “goodness” that the hero hides behind the mask of a “bad guy”, in his life is bound to appear as a girl. She will be his “beautiful lady” – special and not like everyone else. For her, he will be ready to change and do the most romantic things in the world. John in “The Breakfast Club” will discover the reason for his bitterness and get an earring. Patrick from “Ten Reasons I Hate” will sing a song at the soccer stadium. Achie from “Three Meters Above Heaven” will sneak into a room to be invited to a party. Christian Grey from “Fifty Shades of Grey” will take three movies on a yacht and buy expensive gifts.
Why you shouldn’t romanticize “bad guys.”
“Bad guys” are a solid set of red flags. Their behavior in movies is presented as something romantic and disguised as great love. But if you look at their actions soberly, it turns out that they are not okay.
Danny Zuko of Grease was so concerned about his reputation that he hid his tender feelings for Sandy behind rudeness. He worried about anyone seeing his other, vulnerable side and bragging to friends about having sex with Sandy while they were just spending a romantic summer together. Sandy’s feelings were the last thing he cared about. She ended up having to change entirely towards the end of the movie to fit Danny’s world.
In Three Meters Above Heaven, Achie is incapable of controlling his aggression, he solves problems only with his fists. Any little thing can set him off. It’s not romantic to beat up every guy who shows a crush on your girlfriend. And that’s not to mention the fact that at one point he slapped Babi himself. This also includes trespassing into someone else’s room, kidnapping a dog for manipulation, and using catcalling as flirting.
The romanticization of “bad guys” reinforces the belief that girls should be pursued. That “no” doesn’t always mean “no.” That harassment is a way to express sympathy. John from “The Breakfast Club” and Patrick from “Ten Reasons I Hate You” are presented as noble bullies. But let’s not forget that the former decided to get under Claire’s skirts, and the latter pursued Kat despite her “no.”
The “bad guy” archetype romanticizes jealousy and abusive behavior, which in real life can turn out to be quite a painful experience. The girls’ sincere belief that only their love can fix the “bad guys” can lead to them wasting a lot of mental energy and forgetting about their own lives.
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